Money Obedience

It dawned upon me today that my wife and I have not done anything about her life insurance needs in a while now. I finally ran the numbers through the life insurance calculator on vilkri.com to determine her life insurance needs. It is clear now that my wife does not have sufficient life insurance coverage. How could this be? How could we neglect such an important part of our family finances?

Let me start with the excuses for such a lapse. Our youngest child was born 1 ½ years ago. Like most women my wife gained weight during the pregnancy. When I took out additional life insurance during my wife’s last pregnancy, my insurance agent told me to wait a little while to increase my wife’s coverage because heavier people paid a higher premium. (Would you believe that an insurance company values a pregnant woman’s weight the same as the weight of a woman who is not pregnant?) So, we waited. But we waited apparently too long. We forgot all about our life insurance needs. (My wife lost the pregnancy weight quite a few months ago.)

I guess another good excuse is the fact that we do not really want to think about her untimely death. But getting proper life insurance coverage is just one of the things we must cover when we take care of our family finances. There is nothing sentimental about such a task. Neither one of us would feel good leaving this earth and wondering whether our loved ones would be financially ok. Securing their financial well-being is the least we can do for them, when they will already have to cope with the loss of a loved one.

You can be sure that my wife will set up an appointment with an insurance agent very shortly. She will get a 20-year term life insurance that will aim to replace her income plus provide additional money to pay for all the work she does for the children and the household. (A good insurance calculator should take all such moneys into account.) In 20 years’ time our youngest will be nearly 22, when childcare will no longer be an issue. Once she has that new life insurance policy I think we will all feel a little more relaxed again about our family finances.

Link: http://www.vilkri.com/pubreader.php?page=budget

There's a story going around that I feel compelled to comment upon. It started with this report about cheating wives who are seeking excitement outside of their marriages because their husbands are overwhelmed by work and anxieties about the family's finances. http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2008/09/15/cheating-wives-is-it-caused-by-the-credit-crunch/

Does it really matter whether the facts of this story are all correct? The point is that healthy marriages have partners who are on the same page - with regard to their ideas on fidelity and monogamy, or finance and debt. They have to handle both problems of spending time and spending income together. Getting together on marital financial issues requires regular or at least frequent conversations about the family's finances. I am sure that both family finance, and marital romance, are improved if communication remains open, often, and honest. Communication is a time honored relationship tool. And it works wonders for the marriage and family life, can be used to increase each partner's individual well being, and the family's finances.

I'm no expert in communication myself - few men are - but I do try to have engaging conversations with my wife that cover the range of issues our separate and joint lives bring to us as it unfolds. I am lucky that she is very understanding, patient, and skilled enough to get me to have good communication with her. But I must admit, I found this out by doing something most men I know think is novel. I talk to my wife about just about everything. I'm not kidding. I we talk about things she buys, and things I buy, and who out there is giving each of us the eye. Give open communication with your SO a try, and let me know how you're doing with that.