Money Obedience

This being a personal finance blog, I think I can allow myself to get personal. As you all know, setting up a budget is an important exercise for me. “Bargain shopping” gets in the way of it. So, let me vent a little and explain.

I am so sick of the e-mails I receive from all kinds of stores. A special offer here, a discount there, a must-have item here, and so forth. I think this season I must have gotten at least one e-mail from every store where I ever bought something, including Tiffany. I can’t even remember the last time I bought something at Tiffany. It must be some five years ago. But I still get their e-mails, and the light blue catalogue in snail mail. I don’t even open the envelope in which the Tiffany catalog comes. Somehow I don’t see the value of bombarding me with special offers. It makes these stores less endearing to me. And I have to wonder how much of the price I pay for goods goes to pay for all this useless advertising when I do buy something at one of these stores.

How about the stores which have your e-mail address recorded from the one time you bought something through amazon.com? What makes them think I have any loyalty to their store? I bought one or two things there years ago. That’s it. No follow-up shopping. I don’t need the frequent shopper card, either. Neither do I care about the special sale this holiday season.

I should consider myself lucky that I can easily delete each and every one of these e-mails, even unsubscribe from the mailing list. I don’t feel the urge to buy anything. We already bought well-thought out gifts for the kids a while ago. And the grandparents’ gift is our visit, rather than spending lavishly on things for them. In case you want to know, both vilkri-he’s and vilkri-she’s families live quite far away – we’re talking mandatory airfare, not driving... The grandparents in our family are pretty much set anyway.

Let’s look at my late grandfather for reasons why gift giving might not be the best thing in any event. My grandfather used to take his newly received shirt, still unopened, and stuff it in his closet right on top of the other unopened shirts from previous years. I am sorry. I can’t follow my parents’ example and give the new shirt anyway. If I can’t think of a good gift for my parents, I will not get them anything. Maybe it sounds a bit heartless, but I’d rather do something nice (like visit) that has no material durability but is valuable all the same, rather than waste money on something they don’t really need or want. Besides, I know that the best gift to them is spending time with them. And if I bring the family along, it is even better.

This blog is also about our overall well-being, so, let me say this in addition to my venting. While these e-mails and catalogues annoy me, I actually feel quite good that I can escape the consumerism of the season so easily. I don’t feel bad about not spending lavishly on friends and family. I know that I will feel much better spending time with friends and family, and I always try to spend time with loved ones, whether it is the holiday season or not.

vilkri-he has been complaining that vilkri-she is not blogging enough. Well, if you’ve been keeping up, you know that vilkri-he has lost his job. So he blogs about personal finance more than I do, and he also irons, cooks, cleans, and generally makes it look like I’m loafing through life (just like he did when he was working full time, I might add!).

So, I stopped EVERYTHING to write this blog, which I should do before you all forget that last Friday, Black Friday, that big shopping day after that big eating day, some poor Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death just trying to keep eager shoppers from pulling the doors off the hinges, which they did anyway!

I repeat, “Are you kidding me?” This is all very scary to me. See, I was thinking that if this was a different year, I’d probably be out there shopping. I cannot tell you how many internet coupons appeared in my email inbox last week, urging me to go out and spend. And I would have, if I wasn’t the only breadwinner in our house of five bread eaters. Then again, if hubby wasn’t unemployed, meaning that the economy wasn’t so bad, I’d probably not have received so many coupons.

Still, while I might’ve gotten in my car that day to peruse the stores, I just cannot get the sentiment behind the stampede. Did you read the story? Here’s a version of the original story, http://www.newsday.com/news/local/nassau/ny-limart1129,0,167903.story and here’s an update http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28034543/. Okay, someone tell me this; why???? Is it not the case that Wal-Mart had the same stuff on Friday that they had the day before, and the day after? Was it really necessary to rush in to get batteries or Cheetos or even a new electronic toy at a discount? The Newsday article (cited above) says that people were crying when they were asked to leave the store. Can someone please explain this to me?

I guess I’m even more confused because my orientation is completely different. I’m not saying I’m holier than anyone – I am perfectly happy if I find come cute boots or manage to make it over to Mac to get a lipstick that makes me look a little less tired but a lot more put together. But I also teach young adults about inequality when I’m not blogging away or trying to keep up with my resident Jack of all Trades and Perfect Housekeeper. So I can’t help but think that there are people starving or facing war and poverty all over the world, and the contrast between that and our consumer culture sometimes just blows me away. And that someone died? I’m flummoxed.

Perhaps, though, there’s a correlation between how bad the economy is doing and now desperate for bargains people become. I’m flummoxed about how things became so bad for us all so very quickly. Hopefully, we’ll all manage to live well, still, in our much tightened belts. As for me, I’m starting to look up how-to sites and magazine articles with directions for lovely homemade presents. (Hey, I’ve found several – maybe I’ll blog about that next.)