Money Obedience

As we are heading into 2009, I would like to take a look back at the past. But I don’t just want to review the previous 12 months and check up on how well we did to lower debt, keep adding to our retirement account, etc. I’d rather look back even further and reflect on some lessons that previous generations try to pass on to us. Two of these lessons seem very wise indeed.

We already referenced one of these lessons in a previous blog (entitled “Setting up a Budget collides with ‘Bargain Shopping’”) It was about giving time rather than gifts to our loved ones. I made the case that our parents want to spend time with us rather than get stuff from us. So, that is exactly what my wife and I are doing right now. We are visiting with family in Florida! (Don’t think this is easy – I am not happier in Florida, even if I find the balmy temperatures here a nice change to the freezing temperatures up North. But I digress.) So, I’m talking about lessons today – what does it teach me to experience that our parents rather spend time with us than get things from us?

Well, I think that our parents’ generation looks at life differently from those of us in the middle of our productive years and still looking to acquire things. We really have no choice but to think about acquiring things since we need to save during our active years so that we can enjoy retirement in the future. Members of older generations (if they’re fortunate) are instead enjoying the fruits of their labors right now. So, our thinking is naturally different from theirs. But there is one thing that we can take from our parents’ attitudes. Our parents teach us what is really important in life - relationships of any kind. When we acquire things I think it is not a bad idea to think about how each acquisition affects the relationships we cherish. In old age we may regret not having spent enough time with out loved ones, we probably won’t regret not having spend enough time at work. So think about whether that extra work or extra expenditure is buying you what you really need from the relationships you desire to deepen.

The second lesson I want to highlight is from an adage I recently heard from an older fellow, although hearing it then was not the first time I heard it. I’m sure you know it too: “Less is more.” This really makes no sense, does it? Well, it doesn’t at first glance. But it makes sense when you think about it a little more. Everything that you own brings the responsibility of ownership along with it (and expenses usually, too). That responsibility takes time, money, and energy that you could use in other ways besides looking after your possessions. This also can be interpreted as saying that a happy life is really not dependent on how many things you own. On the contrary, the more things you own the more difficult it is to focus on the parts of life that make you really happy. That is why less stuff can indeed lead to a more fulfilled life.

In the future I plan to focus on these two lessons from the previous generations, especially as they relate to our family expenses and our financial planning. My driving question will remain “How do my financial decisions further my life goals to have good relations with family, friends, and society at large?”

But right now I am going to dig into the potato salad my mother in law is making for me. That is one mean potato salad and is definitely worth a trip to Florida. But see, there is a relationship between her potato salad and the lessons I’ve been writing about. There’s no doubt that the potato salad she made especially for me definitely improves our good relationship even further. She successfully invested her time and love in making it, and I and my stomach are so grateful! I won’t forget that.